sex abuse, the church, and me

And the cardinals are in Rome, and God is in Her heaven, and the Vatican is - uh - suggesting that the American cardinals quit talking to the press. Such a chatty bunch, they are. Except. . .except. . .when there was somebody who really needed for them to say something.

There must be a special place in hell for those who didn't use their voices to give a voice to the powerless victimized kids who had no voice.

I am Catholic. I will stay Catholic. Even though I am no cradle Catholic, it has seeped into my bones. My faith is part of me, right to my toes. The prayer, the worship, the Eucharist, it's as much a part of me as is my liver. My faith heroes are almost all Catholic - Merton, St. Benedict of Nursia, Bernardin, Pope John XXIII, Nouwen, Berrigan, Congar, Rahner. There are non-Catholics among them - Tutu, King - but my heroes are predominantly Catholic.

And there is my wife, who is a faith hero to me in more ways than I can count.

You can imagine, then, my dismay - disgust - pure anger - at the sex abuse scandals that have occurred. I am horrified on so many levels. It has come back in view with the pending selection of a new Pope, and I hope it means that the next Pope will be one who stands open, honest and strong against the abuse. I long ago gave up on the idea that there is one true church, or the idea that one had a monopoly of truth. Most institutions have some truth. All organizations have some sin. Human nature is human nature, and is sinful. But, we can do better than this.

I am mortified at what happened to the youngsters, and I would tell every one of them, if I could, how sorry I am that this happened to them. If you list all the people around whom kids should be completely safe - doctors? police officers? teachers? priests? - there have been those among each of those groups who have abused that trust, and the kids who invested that trust in them. I am profoundly saddened and sorry that this happens.

I am disgusted by the fact that those, both among the conservatives and among the liberals, have used this to ride their hobby horses. The conservative hobby horse: "Get those gays out of the priesthood!" The position reflects a misunderstanding of pedophilia. Pedophilia, like rape, is a crime of power, not sex. If you were to draw up a prototypical pedophile, the person is more often straight than gay.

Besides, if one of your vows is celibacy, what could it possibly matter if you are a straight celibate or a gay celibate? The Catholic Church does not hold that homesexual orientation is a sin.

I am equally angered by those on the left who ride their hobby horse: "Let the priests marry!" Again, this is a misunderstanding of pedophilia. The profile of the pedophile would not necessarily be single. They have usually been married, although the marriages are often troubled. These people don't do well at handling relationships where the power balance is about equal. If a pedophile gets married, the result isn't a non-pedophile. It's a married pedophile.

And talking about a special place in hell - bishops, even archbishops and cardinals who knew that a priest had abused kids, and helped to cover it up by playing musical parishes? If a lawyer or paralegal reads this, can you help me with a definition of "accessory after the fact"? Bernard Law of Boston escaped only by virtue of the statute of limitations.

I am Catholic. I am under no illusions about the perfection of my church. I do, however, love that, when Catholicism is at its best, it brings forth the glorious and wonderful and beautiful like no other organization can. When we are at our best, we proclaim the beauty and glory of life, at both ends and every step in the middle. When we are at our best, we provide health care and education in many parts of the world where no one else is providing it. When we are at our best, we are Mother Theresa, holding the hands of the dying among the poorest and most outcast. When we are at our best we are the voice for the voiceless immigrants, love for the unloved, peace in war, tranquillity in chaos.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love. . .

Thanks for being you, and allowing me to be me. Love you!