Driving Miss Livvy With Requested Additions Deletions Revisions and Corrections

The road to Perdition – aka yesterday’s trip to Chicago.

It all started with a change in plan. Granddaughter Livvy, 12, stayed with us for a little extra time while her parents and brother and sisters went to Kentucky to set up housekeeping. She was supposed to stay for a few more days than she did, but she missed her family terribly. She told this to another relative, who said something like, “Honey, we’ll get you a train ticket to go and join your family.”

Knowing what we know about human trafficking and sexual slavery, you can guess what the chances are that this was going to happen. The average age (at least, the best educated guess) of girls taken into slavery: 12.8 years. Livvy’s age: 12.3 years. No way were we going to send her unaccompanied on a train ride that lasted – how long? With how many connections? With how many layovers, for how long?

Ain’t happ’nin’, Cap’n. Not to our Livvy.

So, we called her parents at Fort Knox. They went to work on reserving a seat on a flight. They made the reservation, but when they called back, they asked if we could get Livvy to O’Hare Airport the following day. The flight would be non-stop, Chicago to Louisville, departing at 1:25 PM.

Sure, we said. It’ll be fun, we said.

So, Monday morning we left Davenport at about 7:45 AM – our merry band including Livvy’s Aunt Cheryl, Livvy’s cousin Logan, and me. And merrily we traversed Illinois on I-88, the Illinois Tollway. Well, we were merry until about 10:00.

We stopped for a break at the DeKalb Oasis. I got the kids some refreshment of their choice, then Cheryl and I had the kids sit in a seating area that was within our view while we got something at Starbuck’s. I mean, how busy could a Starbuck’s at an interstate oasis be at 10:00 on a Monday morning in DeKalb when Northern Illinois University is not in session? As it turns out, plenty busy. The Starbucks was training two new employees, and the two experienced employees that were doing the training took their breaks at the same time as each other while we were waiting. The customers in front of us looked very preppy, a bit self-important, and they had a list of things to order that was only slightly shorter than a weekly supply requisition for Fort Knox. And, they made some changes on the fly. Cheryl and I looked at Logan and Livvy, and they looked at us. They got bored, and neither kid handles boredom well. We looked again and they were moving around their table. By the time we got our order it was 10:30, and when we left the kids found a trash receptacle for their long-finished refreshment containers.

It’s 10:40 by the time we pull out of the oasis. If we want to get to O’Hare two hours before departure, we have to be there at 11:25. We have to drive fast. Really fast. Fortunately, from DeKalb all the way to the Tri-State, then all the way to O’Hare, everybody drives fast. Really fast. Speed limits signs exist only as evidence of someone’s sense of humor.

O’Hare is a big place. It seems that every time it has gotten bigger, they accommodate the extra space by adding another circle to the road around the terminals. By now, it’s one thing to enter the complex. Then, you drive in a circle – then another circle. The signs keep telling us that we’re on the right way to get to hourly parking, but the circle goes on. I think we spent as much time circling O’Hare as we did getting from DeKalb to O’Hare. But, we did eventually get to a sign telling us that, to park, turn left. We did, and we were on a parking ramp. Glory be! We parked in the first available spot. As we got on the elevator, we noticed that there were six levels. Each was named after a Chicago sports team – Blackhawks level, Bulls level. We were on Level 3 – White Sox level. Of all the damn things. . .

We got to a ticket counter that said “American Airlines,” and some attendants had no customers. Explanation, provided by one of the attendants: It really wasn’t American Airlines, no matter what the sign said. It was a counter for Japan Air Lines. We went to the counters that we were told to go to. “Are you really American Airlines?” “Yes!” “Thank you!” We provided information about Livvy’s reservation, only to find out that, while she had a reservation, she had no paid ticket. Issue with the credit card. Step away, call Mom and Dad. Becky answered. Fortunately, Becky could not see the expression on my face just then. Becky called American, got the issue taken care of. We got Livvy’s boarding pass. Off to the security check.

What you should know about Livvy. She is whip-smart, and looks it. She has decided (for now – that’s always the case for a 12-year-old) that she wants to be an author when she grows up, and she just might have the ability to do it. She has a playful, feisty aspect, and is quite the showperson and comedienne. And she can make friends quickly. With all of that, it’s easy to forget that she is still a 12-year-old girl with a big, soft heart. In big, busy fast-moving O’Hare, she was a frightened and vulnerable 12-year-old girl. When Livvy is upset or frightened, her characteristic gesture is that she wraps her arms tightly around herself like she’s a little ball. Outside the TSA checkpoint, she wrapped. And started to cry.

Back to the American Airlines counter. It turns out that they can, if ID is provided, generate something that looks like a boarding pass, but isn’t, so if there is a minor travelling alone, a family member can accompany her into the concourse. The agent at American Airlines generated three of them, so Aunt Cheryl, Logan, and Papa (me) went into the concourse with Livvy. All is well.

UNTIL – we stopped for lunch before Livvy’s flight boarded. We went to a place called Cubs Bar and Grille. We placed our order about 12:40. The stated boarding time was 12:55, and the departure time was 1:25, so time was tight. We ordered three burgers and an order of wings. By 1:05 I knew we should get Livvy to the plane, and our food wasn’t there yet. Livvy never got her lunch. I gave her $10 and told her that if they sold food on the flight, she should get some. I walked her right up to the boarding ramp. She was OK then. She was boarding the plane; she wasn’t going to be left at O’Hare. Next stop – getting off the plane in Louisville, being greeted by Daddy.

The rest of us got our food at about 1:20 or so. Logan was in heaven. He has always had a fascination with big mechanical things – planes, trains. He has never been in an airport before, and has never even seen a plane on the ground. Now he’s sitting in a restaurant with big windows and a view of the runway at O’Hare Airport. Lots of planes on the ground, and planes taking off at the rate of about one per minute. Logan’s eyes have only now shrunk back to normal size.

When we left O’Hare, the exit to go from I-190 to the Tri-State is Exit 1D. Sorry, Livvy, that you missed it. Sorry that you missed it too, Kaitlin.

The trip home was uneventful. A flight from Chicago to Louisville is only in the air a little more than an hour, so Livvy was in Louisville and with her Daddy about the time we were passing the Sterling-Rock Falls exits. I hope it was a pleasant trip, and I know that Livvy is overjoyed to be home with family. I miss you already, and love you, and hope you always remember: We’re family too.

CORRECTON 1: I guess it was Chris who took care of the issue with the credit card company.

ADDITION 1: When Livvy got on the ground all she could talk about was the missed wings. Can no one in Kentucky do barbecue?

REVISION 1: I don't know yet if Livvy's been made aware that we took Exit 1D on the way out.

FURTHERMORE: We love you folks.

The theists and atheists debate. . .

. . .and I haven't a clue why. They really don't speak the same language.

I am in mind of a discussion between Bill Nye and Ken Ham. Ken Ham is president of Answers In Genesis. He's a Young Earth Creationist. Bill Nye is, of course, the Science Guy. From their discussion it became evident that they were not speaking the same language. Nye, and science folks in general, ask the question, "What do the physical phenomena tell us? What is the best explanation for what we find?" The reply from the creationists: "We have evidence! We have Genesis!!" They sail on with this, either unaware of, or ignoring, two separate and, at some points, conflicting creation accounts in Genesis. Just to make it more interesting, there's a third creation account in the Bible, in the first chapter of the Gospel According to John.

One would think that, if the Bible were meant to present a unified idea of creation, the writers would have settled on just one. The writers of the biblical accounts were, of course, not equipped to do this. They weren't aware, as we are, of the fossil record. They did not have carbon dating available to them. So there are questions that science can examine. How to explain dinosaur fossils? How to explain that, in the fossil record, simplest organisms are the oldest, and the farthest down?

How do you have a discussion when the people discussing aren't speaking the same language? Ken Ham says his evidence is Genesis. That, however, is not evidence. It was a result of a tradition that did not have the scientific tools to explain creation.

Where a I in all this?

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty,

Maker of heaven and earth,

Of all things visible and invisible.

I do believe. Since the God in whom I believe is eternal, it matters not at all to me if God chose to use a Big Bang to start it all, if God chose to use geological processes that required billions of years, if life as we know it involved evolutionary processes. I'm not bothered at all by that. And this would imply the existence of an intelligent Designer. But I am fully aware that one cannot teach creationism, or its disguised cousin, intelligent design, as science. There's no science in them.

I believe in the existence of God. But neither I nor anyone else can prove such existence. On this topic I've said that I am far more Kierkegaard than I am Thomist. (Gee, I must be a terrible Catholic.)

Centuries ago St. Thomas Aquinas proposed five proofs for the existence of God. The best known is probably the Prime Mover argument. It sees creation as a chain of causes and effects, of movements thus created. Because this chain cannot be infinite, it has to have a beginning, an uncaused cause, an unmoved mover. That is God. The fallacy: what if the unmoved mover was a tiny particle of infinite heat and pressure that exploded? Is that particle God?

The evidence I see of God's existence are in nature, in the trees and flowers right around the house; in any AA meeting; in Church (when it's at its best. It's at its best often enough to keep my attention. It's not there all the time, though.) When I walk into any AA or NA meeting, I can point to a dozen walking, talking miracles, people who no longer had a life to speak of, and who have been given their lives back. I can't attribute that to a particle.

Be still, and know that I am God.

I pray daily. Sometimes, in the early morning silence of my front porch, I can almost hear, I can feel the interior movement.

Still, I can't prove in any scientific way the existence of God. The issue for those who would argue against the existence of God is, you can't prove your position, either.

For me, this is where Kierkegaard enters. He maintained that one can't prove the existence or non-existence of God. No matter how much evidence you compile for either position, it does not constitute proof.

Yes, there was a Mother Theresa, a Thomas Merton, a Daniel Berrigan, a Dorothy Day. Does this prove the existence of a God that intervenes for good in human life? No.

Yes, there was a Spanish Inquisition, and the Papacy was so degraded in the 9th century that it was referred to as a pornocracy, and the sexual abuse of children by priests was real. Yes, believers have insulted and dehumanized and demonized all who are not exactly the same way they are. Does this prove the non-existence of God? No.

There is a term, "Leap of faith." It's a Kierkegaard term. At some point one runs into the limits of what reason and evidence can provide. Eventually, one must make a decision - the decision is inescapable - and everyone faces that decision based on incomplete information. You decide t believe, and it's a decision of faith, and you know that. Or, you decide there is no God. That decision is also based on incomplete evidence, and it's also a decision of faith, although the atheists seem less aware that they have made such a decision.

I've made my decision:

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty,

Maker of heaven and earth,

Of all things visible and invisible.

 

Thanks for hanging out.

 

 

 

Addiction - Alcoholism II

In a previous post I wrote about the starting points of addiction. One who has a genetic predisposition, combined with some form of mental or emotional issue, is a prime candidate. There are those in the field who have gone so far as to say, "No genetics - no addiction."

With all of this, a working definition of addiction may be something like, "Use of a substance or behavior in the face of negative consequences." If there are no negative consequences, then there is no addiction. But, be careful here. Denial is a big part of addictive behavior, so the addict is not usually aware of the negative consequences, even as said consequences are destroying their lives.

It should be noted that the addiction process plays out in different ways in individuals. Those who work in the field view addictions through a number of prisms.

SUBSTANCE ADDICTION v. PROCESS ADDICTION

The nature of substance addiction would seem to be obvious: it's an addiction to some chemical. Alcohol and tobacco are probably the most common, and for adults they are legal and easy to obtain. Meth is not legal, but it is fairly easy to obtain. Heroin - cocaine - chocolate. Chocolate, y'say? If one has a compulsion to use it, and that one is diabetic, and that one can't stop it even in the face of escalating negative health consequences, then there is an addiction.

Ecstasy is one of the "club drugs", and the question about whether it is addictive is still out. Marijuana seems to have no inherent addictive qualities, but now we move to the second of these categories, "process addiction."

Process addiction is habitual repetition of some action. The action ay involve a substance, or it may not, but the substance is not the point of the addiction. While marijuana has no inherently narcotic chemical, if one is in the habit of firing up some herb at, say, two in the afternoon, and starts blowing off appointments and putting relationships at risk to light up at two every afternoon, then, although there is no chemical addiction, there is, most certainly, an addiction.

Running? Jogging? It is, to be sure, a process. Can it be addictive? If so, could we argue that there is such a thing as a good addiction? My answer would be yes, and no.

Running, or other types of exercise, is not inherently addictive. It would be difficult to think of a negative health consequence that comes from running. But, there is a type of runner, and I'm guessing you've seen them. They're everywhere. If it's a nice, 55 degree day, they're out in their Spandex and running shoes on their route. If it's 35 degrees and there is a wind-driven rain, they're still out on the same route, same Spandex. . .if it's 95 degrees, same route, same Spandex. No trainer in the world, no doctor around would recommend running is such adverse conditions. Maybe Stephen Covey would, but he wrote a lot of stuff on subjects about which he knew nothing. There are indoor tracks around, there are indoor malls to walk, but not for these people. They must do the same route same time every day, or they think their day is a failure, despite the obvious health risk to which they subject themselves. That's addiction.

Eating disorders present special issues. Those addicted to alcohol or meth can quit, and if they would control their addiction, they must quit. But no one can just stop eating. Rethinking one's relationship with food is critical.

And, no, there is no good addiction. The reason is that addicts cross the line into addiction at the point where they have surrendered their freedom to do something or to  not do it.

More on the subject later. A second prism is attraction v. aversion addictions. Thanks for hanging out!